Claire Loftus puts postnatal depression behind to form award-winning business

But at the time, the Lisbane mum of three didn’t realise anything was wrong.

Claire, 39, who has been recently named as one of the Small Biz 100 companies in Northern Ireland, said it was her husband Stephen who pointed out something might be wrong and a change in her behaviour.

"During that summer I remember my husband passing comment about me being irritable, but I brushed it off, I kept going,” said Claire.

"It was only by the time September came that I started to realise things were not ok, but by this time it was too late. How I didn’t see the signs before then I don’t know as when I started to reflect, I could see some of my behaviour was very irrational and out of character.”

Thankfully Claire has now put the confusion and despair of postnatal depression behind her and now owns an award-winning human resources consultancy.

Claire’s business EVOLVE now employs six people and provides HR services to businesses right across Northern Ireland.

For Claire, the struggle with postnatal depression and the long road to recovery is what eventually led her to follow the example of her family’s entrepreneurial spirit to start out on her own after 10 years at Danske Bank.

At the time, however, the postnatal depression was only one of the battles Claire had to fight after a ‘silent’ miscarriage and dealing with a rare condition in 2014.

"I had had a silent miscarriage and I had a two-week wait for the procedure to remove the pregnancy,” she said.

"Everything went smoothly with the procedure and afterwards I was told that I would be unlikely to find out what had happened, but a month after having the procedure I got a letter telling me to urgently return to the hospital.

"Unbeknownst to me at the time, I had actually had what is called a hydatidIform mole or a molar pregnancy, this is an incredibly rare condition affecting around 1,200 women in the UK a year.

"For the next six months I was monitored closely by Charing Cross Hospital in London because this pregnancy complication causes cells to multiply in an abnormal way which can in some cases become cancerous.”

Two haemorrhages and another operation later Claire was finally given the all-clear.

Having been through postnatal depression with her first child, Lucy (now 10), the fall-out when Poppy (now six) arrived came as a shock as initially she thought she was coping well with the new baby, even going as far as raising £4,000, with friends, for the TinyLife charity.

"I hadn’t realised this was me masking how I was really feeling,” Claire explained. “Things started to deteriorate pretty rapidly to the point I was struggling with even the simplest of things, and things eventually came to a head on October 8 that year.

"I felt so consumed, overwhelmed, despair, I didn’t know how to pull myself out and at that moment in time I couldn’t see past myself, I couldn’t see beyond the completely overwhelming feeling of complete and utter despair, I didn’t want to, I couldn’t talk to anyone I was uncontrollably angry and sad and worn out all at the same time. I hit rock bottom.”

Claire took the time to reassess her life and work as she struggled as she tried to rebuild herself.

"From that day the next six months I slowly tried to rebuild myself,” she said.

"For months I could barely look after the girls on my own, as I would become paralyzed trying to work out what to feed them.

"I would struggle being in Tesco if I saw someone I knew, almost following the other person around the store like a stalker to avoid them bumping into me.”

The wait for NHS treatment after she was discharged from the crisis team led her to privately see a therapist and Claire spent months challenging herself through painting, exercise and reassessing every aspect of her life.

"Finally I returned to work with Danske Bank where I worked in HR,” she said. “I genuinely loved my job, I had been there for almost 10 years and loved my work and my colleagues.

"But adjusting back to work was a slow process. I felt so nervous, the confidence I once had, had completely gone.”

With the challenges of being a mother and trying to maintain that balance Claire decided that a change was needed.

"During my recovery when I had been reassessing my life, I had thought a lot about the dreams I had had for my life,” she said. “As far back as I can remember I talked about starting a business, and during University I had talked a lot about starting a business – an HR Consultancy specifically for Small to Medium Sized Companies, but then life got in the way, I got a mortgage, got married, started a family.”

As she contemplated the massive step of leaving a job with a stable income Claire surprised herself with her reaction.

"When the time came, it didn’t really seem so huge. The fear of the regret of not doing it was worse and I wanted to be a role model for my two daughters so that they could overcome any barriers to achieve their goals.”

And, in 2017 Claire set up her own consultancy: “On July 31 of that year I created EVOLVE, an HR Consultancy which is designed to support small to medium sized owner managed businesses with everything from handbooks and contracts, to dealing with tricky complex issues such as disciplinaries and grievances but also supporting these businesses by finding ways to get the best from their team through improving the culture and engagement of their business.”

The experience has been a revelation for Claire, not least because of a new arrival.

"I can honestly say I have not looked back and in Summer 2018 I found out I was pregnant again and after the previous experience I knew I needed to recruit to allow me to take a maternity leave and protect my mental health,” she explained.

"In March 2019 Tom (now three) was born and this time my mental health stayed pretty stable. Since then, we have navigated Covid, and continued to grow. We now have a team of six, supporting over 100 businesses in Northern Ireland, England, Scotland and in Europe. These companies range from start-ups taking on their first employee to larger businesses who need some additional support for their standalone HR Manager.”

The growth of EVOLVE has seen recognition from a number of areas.

"We have been recognised by Enterprise Nation as a Top Advisors in the area of HR, won New Business of the Year award in the NI SME Business Awards, and been a finalist in the BizX Awards 2019, the Mums in Business National Awards, and also the Great British Entrepreneur Awards,” said Claire.

"I am blown away to be selected to be one of the Small Biz 100 as part of the national campaign for Small Business Saturday.”

And, part of it must be something Claire believes is in her blood.

"I come from a family of entrepreneurs, my parents and grandparents owning the White Horse Inn Saintfield, having previously owned the Windmill Grill in Millisle,” she explained. “My maternal grandparents also had a successful silver and electroplating business in Belfast. When I was growing up my mum and grandmother had two gift shops in Comber and my father had a well-known jewellers in Comber.”

Claire can now reflect on her journey from struggles to success.

"The last six years have been a rollercoaster, with some lows which honestly at the time I struggled to get through to now, I actually find it hard to get my head around,” she said. “But I’ve come through It.

"Every arrow has to be pulled back to be propelled forwards and now having come pretty much through to the other side I can see I am a stronger, more self-aware person because of what I experienced.

“It has made me realise, everyone struggles in life at times, but everyone equally deserves to feel happy at work. Life is too short not to.”